pride... not cool.

This past weekend I had the honour of helping out a good friend of mine. The more time I spend with my friend the more I saw how much we are alike; we both have a hard time in excepting help from people. Don't get me wrong, I am seeing this as a weakness in myself; this is not about her. The experience reminded me of the pride I have within my personality, which I completely blame on mom.

Growing up we weren't allowed to accept things from people, such as rides to places, food (not from strangers), and gifts of various levels. I learnt to feel guilty about asking for and accepting help from people, even if I needed it. A few years ago I was very sick and I still didn't ask for help, and when I did it was because I really, really needed it. Is anyone else like that, or is it just me?

Recently I have found a friend that is helping me out of this habit of pride, and my need to be independent and prove that I can do this on my own. She has told me, and made me promise, that I need to call her when ever I have big events in my life that are to be dealt with someone else. So I have started to. It is hard to get out of one's 30yr comfort zone. There were a few times that I didn't call her, but since I promised I have... I guess I am getting better. It takes time. Baby steps. The first time out of a comfort zone usually results in a very fast about-face to get out of the realm of discomfort. Then the next time one tends to stay in the uncomfortable area a little longer before running as fast as a Jack rabbit with it's tail on fire. Each time after that it gets a little easier to the point that there will be one time that one feels good about the decision that brought him/her to that place, again. it becomes your new habit and feels weird when you return to your old ways.

My point... Pride holds people back, even Jody, from great things (help, activities, opportunities, new friends, and so much more); life is missed out on when pride shows its face. I am going to choose from this point on to fight the discomfort that comes when my pride gets into my path. I am going to ask for help more often, and except it when it is offered. I am a one woman show who needs to share her struggles with the people who care.

Join me in this endeavor?...

another lease on life

Have you ever found yourself in a moment of time when you realize that you should not be where you are, or could have been somewhere other than where you actually are at that moment?

Let me explain this question. Last week, after a really great weekend in Summerland, with my dad, I returned home to the Fraser Valley. About half an hour before the Manning Park lodge I started feeling sleepy. I decided to pull over and have a 20 minute nap, as I knew how curvy the roads get, on the other side of the lodge, before Hope. I needed to be more alert.

I pulled into the parking lot and noticed a tow-truck loading up a black car onto the truck bed, but thought nothing of it, till an hour and a half later. I took my 20 minute nap, which after the snoozes it was about 40 minutes, but I was alright with that. I wasn't in a hurry, and I knew I was tired. I pet a few ground squirrels, used the facilities, and then went on my way.

I got about 15 minutes away from where I stopped and I came around a corner to find cars and people on both sides of the road. The barrier on my left was lined with kids sitting on it and an adult on both ends, along with adults scattered among the cars. Everyone looked calm. The nature lover inside of me started looking excitedly for the wildlife that had caused this side-of-the-road parking lot, as the day previous I saw 3 deer and 7 mountain goats! A little disappointed because I couldn't see anything I continued on my way, where I saw a man sporting a button-up shirt with his name on it, directing me to keep going. I then noticed that there was what appeared to be a car's windshield on the ground to my left. There weren't any cars that looked like they had been in an accident. So I was very confused. I noticed again the tow-truck I had seen at the lodge about an hour previous; he would have left about 5-10 minutes after I stopped to rest. I continued on. There were enough people to help, if help was needed.

Two ambulances, two police cars, and two fire vehicles later I start to process what I might have seen. I believe something caused a car to go over the barrier that the kids were sitting on and down that hill; the kids may have been in the vehicle- I don't know. I also recalled that it looked like a barrier was pushed out of place, so more and more I started to believe that my theory is close to the reality. Then the tow-truck comes into play. If it came across the accident, it means it probably happened not too long before it got there, maybe about 5-10 minutes. That is the same amount of time I would have been ahead of the tow-truck. That means there is a possibility that I could have witnessed the scene happen in-front of me, I could have missed it all together, or I could have been part of it. I started to tear up. There is a possibility that I should, today, be living another life situation; one that included what ever happened on that corner on the 12th of June 2009.

Instantly I started to realize that God probably timed my drowsiness, for His plans that he has for me. I am one to drive when tired, even if I should probably pull over, but this time I had a strong desire to actually stop; so I did.

"I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jerimiah 29:11-12

I believe that everyone is born at the exact time God plans, to the parents He knows will put him/her in the life path that will give that individual an opportunity (or more) to live out loud for God. Days before, I realized what I believe to be God's plan for my life (finally), how it is going to happen, and then he gave me one more lease on life to allow me to do my best at reaching out to the lives of children, youth, and families with the sole purpose of sharing Christ!

My God is an amazing God!

extraordinary

It is 12:30am, on a sunday morning. Some people are just starting their Saturday night activities, and I am here in bed winding mine down.

The movie just ended, and now I am contemplating life, as I know it. Where am I? Who is in my world? Am I where I want to be, or even should be? Am I the only one who gets life altering questions set in her head during all of the hours she wants to go to bed, or does everyone have moments like this?

The pondering question, stated at the end of the movie challenged me, "how many people in my life make me feel extraordinary?", which led to, "am I, Jody, someone who makes people feel extraordinary?"

I don't know. I don't. Do I have people in my life that make me feel extra special? Yes. Do I have many? No. I believe that this is the case because we all tend to put people down to lift ourselves up in the eyes of the people around us; the North American society has shown us, in many ways, that you are "cool" when acting in this way. I totally disagree. A person becomes cool when they can lift people up, especially when the giving person is having a rough day, instead of shooting others down with a verbal assault. This shows confidence, self esteem, and maturity; putting others first is very hard to do, but makes all the difference in the world to the person you acknowledge. "The first shall be last, and the last shall be first."

Do I lift people up? Not as much as I should. Not as much as I want to. Not always at the times the other person needs to hear something great. I want to be that person though, so how do I, or we if you are with me on this, show the people in our lives how great they are? here are a few late night ideas I have come up with...

1. say something nice to someone, just because. I believe that the more we do this the more we will want to.

2. work on our own self esteem, confidence, and maturity around the concept of not needing to be our best when we are putting others down.

3. find ways to deal with ones' low points out of the face of others, as those are the moments when one tends to use the words that can blow up a life. Words do hurt, and can be harder to heal than physical injury. A few words can alter a person for life. Be careful of what you say.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I want to be surrounded with people who treat me like I am extraordinary, and I want to learn to share the love too. Do you?

Think about how great the world could be if we all lifted people up, instead of bringing them down.

sweet dreams.