3:30am: returned from weekend trip to Alberta. The house is full of stale, humid air. Jody goes to bed.
10:30am: Jody goes to Soccer. She has been sitting for three days straight, pretty much, and needs to run around for a while.
12:00pm: Jody returns from soccer and gets ready to help at a community outreach project. She decides it is safe to leave her door and window open (secretly hoping Fred would return to her). She asked the landlord to close these portals later in the day. The place needed to air out.
8:00pm: it is dark outside; sunset comes early this time of year. Jody turns on lights, as it is very dark in the house. The door and window are still side open, but the house is aired out, so it is all good. Jody closes these openings and proceeds to use the facilities. While in there she notices a mosquito. She squashed the bug fast. Sleeping is impossible if there is even one mosquito in the house. She then sees another and thinks to herself, with her inside voice, "I hadn't noticed that we had mosquitos this year." She then looks up and sees eight more. Then glances to her left and saw five more... oh this is not good.
She must find out how many there are, this is getting out of hand. There were none to be seen in the living room or the kitchen. She almost didn't check her bedroom, but decided to do so anyway. The room was covered; the walls, the ceiling, the pictures, the curtains, these flying blood sucking killers had taken over her room! Next action: get a book.
Book gotten and the massacre begins. One, two three... fifteen, sixteen... twenty. There are still more! where are these monsters coming from?! I need help. Must get a real swatter! She goes upstairs for back-up support. Mr. bill comes down with a fly swatter, sees the immense size of the crisis and says he will be right back. Jody continues the hunt. Mr. Bill returns looking like an authentic Ghostbuster, ghost sucking pack and all! My hero!
He turns on the portable vacuum and proceeds to suck the suckers up! BRILLIANT! jody races to the closet to retrieve her sucker of power. Jody plugs it in, takes a deep breath, smiles, retrieves the wand feature, and turns on the cyclone power within her vacuum. huuuuummmmm..... HUMMMM (The second vacuum has a different pitch). and all of a sudden she realizes that the Mosquito-Busters had arrived! These monsters were not only being sucked off their perches, but right out of the air! it was AWSOME!!! One by one they were sucked into their destiny, at a cyclone rate of speed. Soon there were none to be seen, in any room. The crisis had been averted: Jody received no mosquito bites; not one of the 100+ monsters that filled her quaint basement suite got even a nibble of her blood source, thanks to Mr. Bill's brilliant plan!
Lesson learned: use vacuums to suck up enemy bugs... it doesn't leave a mess! Happy hunting! May the suck be with you!
No comments:
Post a Comment